My Only Boast

(Gal 6:14 The Scriptures 1998+)  And for me, let it not be that I should boast except in the stake of our Master YHWSHA Messiah, through whom the world has been impaled to me, and I to the world.

A Testimony to the Mercy of God as Manifest in My Life

YHWH, let my life be a living testament to cross of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah, and may it never cease to me a life lived in the light of Your glory and in the power of Your ressurection. Amen.

Discovering God is a wonderful experience, and one that will take you through your whole life. A relationship with Him is ever so precious, because with the dawning of every new day, He shows Himself to us, in His lovingkindness, faithfulness, and abundant mercy.


Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
(Isa 55:7-11)

Every morning I awake, early or late, I have learnt and am teaching myself to begin the day praising God. This is not easy, some days I feel like a Christian, and some days I don't. Many days I oversleep and wake up groggy and grouchy. However, one thing I have learnt is to the Praise the Name of the LORD, every day.

One of the most wonderful gifts God has given me is the continued revelation of Himself to me. There are so many different awesome aspects and wonderful characters of God I have not yet discovered, but one thing I have learnt from Him, and that is His name.

A wise Christian once said, "You don't know what you don't know".* I may think I know a lot, but actually I don't know what I'm missing out - I have no idea of the things I do not know.  I may think I know God, and that I know He is love - but that knowledge is only that of the mind - I have not yet experiencially known His love, His love has not become a living reality to me.

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
(Eph 3:14-19)

I was born into a faithful Christian family. My parents and grandparents and great great grandparents served God. My parents were active in church, worship-leading, praying, etc. I grew up reading God's Word with my parents every day. I was sure who I believed in - I was sure God was real, that He was love, and that He sent His only begotten son into the world. I knew all about the Bible, I learnt all about the Bible - I knew more than most Christian children about the Kings, about Abraham, and the Parables and Miracles, yes I knew a lot of facts. Yet God was not an intruding reality in my life. I prayed, yes, with others and at mealtimes, but I did not have a consistent prayer relationship with God. I knew who God was, yet I did not know who God was. I read the Bible, but I was more interested in stories, not in teachings. When I read the Epistles, for example, I clearly remember it as an exercise of reading, just reading words. None of it became a living word in my life, yet.

You see, I knew God in my mind, and I thought I knew a lot. God proved me wrong. There was still so much I had to learn.

The first revelation God gave me was that of sin. Sin, you may know, is pleasurable.  Sin is fun. Sin is enjoyable to me, to my flesh. Is it not enjoyable to triumph myself over others, to think how wonderful and clever I was, that I could quote more verses and remember all the ten commandments. Sin was exciting. Sin was the sneaky enjoyment I got when I could fool my parents into thinking I was eating vitamins but stuck them all behind my clothes closet one by one. Of course I had sin. Of course I lied, took things that were not mine, cheated, secretly went on the internet to play games, rebelled against my parents etc. It did occur to me that I was any less sinful than anyone else. I felt sin had a grasp in my life. I knew then that I was not saved, yet.

This revelation came over a period of time. During that time I was reading the Bible through and started attending a house church my parents. The preaching was very Biblical. My mom forced me to stop doing homework for a month and just read the Bible, every day. I remember being very adverse to anything of God. I remember being very bored with reading the word and complaining my time was wasted; it didn't make any sense to me; I already knew all the stories = what for?

This passage became alive for me, and I was very proud of the fact no one else could understand Romans 7.

(Rom 7:7)  What shall we say then? Is the Torah sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the Torah: for I had not known lust, except the Torah had said, Thou shalt not covet.

Even though God's Word was not real to me, I came under conviction of sin. The Torah had shown me how sinful I was, inside. I sinned because I was a sinner.

(Rom 7:8)  But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence. For without the law sin was dead.

But this knowledge, of God, of holiness, did not stop me from sinning. In fact, I because worse, and more desperate.

(Rom 7:9)  For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died.

Without knowing the word of God, I was "alive" in sin, just blissfully and innocently doing what was natural to me. But when I understoof the commandments of God, I realized that what manner of death was in me. I realized I was a sinner.


(Rom 7:10)  And the commandment, which was ordained to life, I found to be unto death.

The Word of God, which was supposed to bring life to me, only made me realized what kind of pit of sin I was wallowing in.

(Rom 7:11)  For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it slew me.
(Rom 7:12)  Wherefore the torah is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good.


The Torah of God brings life (Ps 19), but to those in death it only serves to show them their own sinful, evil, state.


(Rom 7:13)  Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid. But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good; that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful.

(Rom 7:14)  For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.

This verse was very real to me. I remember in February of 2008 I was just crying out to God by myself, to deliver me from certain sins. I turned from the sin and never went backt to that again, but the guilt was still there. I knew God forgives and forgets, but I still was very self-condemned. I felt I was not saved. I toyed with the idea that perhaps I had commited some unforgivable sin, but it didn't strike me as true. I was still under a lot of condemnation.

I would like to say that one of the worst lies of the devil to convince people that they have commited the unforgivable sin and can never be forgiven. In effect, the evil one is trying to downplay the word of Christ on the cross and convince you that it is uneffective. That is not true. The word says clearly:
(1Jn 1:9)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I remember clearly an incident where I was reading this, crying and wondering what to do. You probably know what it feels like to have such a weight on your heart. As I look back, I realize all this is gone. My heart is light and full of joy. I know know that through the blood of the Messiah all sin has been washed away. Thank God!

(Rom 7:15)  For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.

It described my feelings exactly. I knew what what right to do; but I could not do it.


(Rom 7:16)  If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.

I know in my heart God's Word was true and good.


(Rom 7:17)  Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

Sin was controlling my life.


(Rom 7:18)  For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

Exactly my sentiments. I felt such a joining and "kinship" with this passage, for it reflected my heart.


(Rom 7:19)  For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

*sigh* *desperation*


(Rom 7:20)  Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.


(Rom 7:21)  I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.


(Rom 7:22)  For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:


(Rom 7:23)  But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.


(Rom 7:24)  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

I felt like this was screaming in me.

I read on. I read the following verse again and again. Now, I felt, Paul had lost touch. Of course I knew it was true, but reading this verse again and again, I did not feel very grateful to God, nor did I feel delivered.

(Rom 7:25a)  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.




(Rom 7:25b)So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

??? Question marks, lots of them.

=Continued in Part 2; Stay tuned for tomorrow=

* Dr Michael L Brown, askdrbrown.org See "Resources", under "Revival", sermon "Acts 10 - If God says its clean it's clean"